Just for Laughs

Toby, our journalism adviser showed us this from Bryanthomaschmidt.net.  Unfortunately, today was also the last day of class.  More about that coming soon…

Your Punctuation Personality Type
 by Leah Petersen

> A recent (totally made up) scientific study analyzed what your
 favorite punctuation mark means about you. Every writer, every person,
 over-uses and abuses at least one punctuation mark. Here’s what your
 particular weakness means about you:

Period (.): Type A personality. You are decisive and clear. You have
 no difficulty with setting limits. Often a stodgy person that no one
 else thinks is any fun to hang out with. You tend to be good with
 technology and have the latest gadgets.

Comma (,): The peacemaker. You like to help others, and you get along
with everyone. You like to make sure people understand each other. You
like clarity as much as the Period type, but, unlike him, you don’t
subscribe to the “less is more” theory. You believe more information
is better than not enough. For this reason you sometimes confuse
others and can become tiresome. But, in general, you’re fun, or at
least tolerable, to be around. If not, you can make people think you
are.

Exclamation point (!): You are excitable and anxious. You don’t
self-censor well and think that your opinion always matters. You use
italics a lot in written communication. You get nervous easily and are
often too loud. You’re either an overly-affectionate or a mean drunk.
You’re fun at parties.

Question mark (?): Indecisive and uncertain. You over-analyze. You may
be shy and have low self-esteem. People usually have no idea you’re
there.

Colon (:): You like things to be well-delineated. Much like the Period
type, you like order. You make lists. People always know where they
stand with you. You usually get asked to organize the office parties
and school functions.

Semi-colon (;): You’re well-read and urbane. You knew where this was
on the keyboard before it became part of the winky emoticon. You’re
more easy-going than Colon or Period types, but you’re still put
together and usually organized. People are comfortable around you and
tend to like you, though they may not be able to say exactly why.

Hyphen (-): You like having fun. You are often creative and are very
social. You like throwing parties, though you may call on your Colon
type friends to organize them. You’re more likely to be impulsive and
throw unlikely things together. No one would be surprised that your
decor is shabby-modern or artsy-classic.

En-dash (–): If you knew this was a different mark than the hyphen,
you are way too into punctuation. You’re either an editor or a
schoolteacher, or else no one likes you. At all.

Em-dash (—): You’re stuck up and pretentious. You correct people’s
grammar and complain about how stupid kids are these days. You like to
show off. You made good grades in school and perform well at work.
Your boss loves you, even if your co-workers don’t.

Parentheses ( () ): You’re scatterbrained. You throw things together
at the last minute. You’re often hopping back and forth between
different tasks and think you’re multi-tasking. You tend to bore
people with your stories because you think every detail is important
and you repeat yourself. You are often sarcastic but are good at
making other people laugh, often at someone’s expense. (Including your
own.)

Ellipses (…): An indecisive and flighty person. You lose your train of
thought easily. You are a follower and like to let other people take
the risks. You often misplace your keys or spend ten minutes looking
for the glasses you’re already wearing.

Apostrophe (‘): You’re casual and carefree. You’re always the one who
has random things in your purse or glove compartment that no one else
would think to carry around but somehow you end up in situations where
it’s a good thing you had that thumb-tack on you. You have lots of
friends, usually without really trying. People just like you.

Quotation Mark (“): You aren’t very original. You tweet famous quotes
a lot. You are nosy and like to gossip; mostly because you don’t have
anything of substance to add of your own. People like to hang out with
you for a coffee break but don’t really consider you a friend.

Slash (/): You’re a complicated and complex person. You can be
secretive and have a hard time trusting people. You like to keep your
options open. You’re the respectable housewife your friends will be
shocked to see coming out of the S&M club.

Brackets ([ ]): You are snobbish and self-important. You are likely to
use these to add “[sic]” to other people’s comments. You have no
friends and probably have a “kick me” post-it on your back right now.

Asterisk (*): Nothing is ever final with you. You can justify anything
and have an excuse for everything. You would make a good lawyer.
People either find you entertaining, or really boring, because you
know lots of random trivia.

Ampersand (&): You like stuff. You collect things and are a packrat.
You’re friends with everyone, whether they know it or not.

At symbol (@): You’re very social, sometimes overly. You’re the one
who always takes a phone call in the middle of a conversation. You
also spend way too much time online. Go get some fresh air. Taking
your iPhone out on the porch doesn’t count.

Hash/pound (#): Much like the @ type, you’re online too much, but,
unlike @ types, in real life you have few friends and are reclusive.
Before the internet, you called customer service lines just to have
someone to talk to.

Bullets (•): You have OCD.

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About Squelsch

I am a student of journalism with a science fiction problem. Writing is a passion of mine, but I find myself doing less of it as the age of social media dominates all thoughtful consciousness. One of my major pass times is hosting imaginary lectures in my head, which is primarily the reason why I like to write and blog. These lectures are usually about justice, liberty, government, culture, and technology.
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